So, this book comes out today, in case you hadn’t heard. However, due to both the wonderful fact that I’ve got lots of projects right now, and the less wonderful fact that I have historically terrible self-control, I can’t allow myself to purchase the book until August. Because the second I do, man. It’s all over.

So in the meantime, I get to try to avoid the rampant spoilers that are already being posted upon the internet. Which is fine. I mean, it’s not like Martin is known for sudden and dramatic deaths, or anything.

Anyway, this is really all just an excuse to post this discussion I had this morning, with a friend who doesn’t have the same scheduling issues as I.

Tom: i have read the first chapter

me: I was afraid to ask.

me: They’re all dead, aren’t they.

Tom: oh most definitely

me: I knew it.

Tom: they were all in the same car

Tom: and tyrion was driving drunk

Tom: and right as they were about to hit a tree

Tom: their planet plunged into the sun